The System Mistook Me for a Cat

Shen Dazui had just stepped out the door when his expression changed. He sprinted toward the staircase while addressing the camera:0

"Did you see that, everyone? I've discovered the weakness of Golden Retriever Demon King! She must be afraid of cats! Of course, I was just bluffing earlier. As long as I'm not being pointed at by a gun, what is there to be scared of? Look, Tong Huahua is now out of the game, but I'm still safe and sound!"0

In a variety show game, there are no fixed teammates. Everyone's allegiances can shift at any moment, and the words spoken are as fleeting as the wind. The audience laughed and joked, finding nothing unusual about it.0

Shen Dazui continued, "But I still plan to go find the cat... I have a feeling there's something extraordinary about the cat in our team!"0

[Actually, there's nothing extraordinary about it... it's just the mother of the Golden Retriever inside.]0

At the same time, in another room, Chu Tingwu: "=="0

The camera zoomed in on her face, and the danmu (live chat) speculated:0

[Did Chu Tingwu hear what Shen Dazui said?]0

[Ah? Impossible, right? They're separated by a whole corridor!]0

[Why call her "Chu God"?]0

[Haven't you heard of the popular "Wolf Channel" on foreign platforms? "Chu God" is the nickname they gave her. Her hearing is incredible, like a wolf radar. She can hear the sounds of wolves moving from hundreds of meters away!]0

[Is her strength really just her hearing?]0

This question left the audience silent.0

Although Chu Tingwu had never shown her combat abilities on camera, everyone felt that she could silently take down five, even ten opponents without breaking a sweat.0

No, no, no. The team leader seems to have really trained, and Cheng Luwei is a regular at the gym. His muscles are the real deal. He wouldn't be easily pinned down by a little girl, right?0

Inside the room, Tong Bei got up from the floor and said, "Chu Tingwu, Shen Dazui must have run away. We shouldn't have let him go."0

Chu Tingwu pushed her back down and whispered, "Don't call me Chu Tingwu. I'm not a teacher. Call me the Experimenter."0

She still had a secret identity to protect!0

Tong Bei: "…Okay, Golden Retriever Teacher =="0

Chu Tingwu: "He did leave, but I still have you, don't I?"0

Tong Bei: "?"0

Chu Tingwu: "With you spreading the word, no one in your team will trust you anymore—you only have one path left: join our Dog Squad…"0

Tong Bei: "=="0

No, I must resist. Hearing the word "Dog Squad" really makes me want to laugh.0

Sunlight streamed in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, warming the life-sized hostage pillow.0

Tong Bei lay on the pillow, while Chu Tingwu sat cross-legged beside her, raising a finger:0

"I now officially induct you into the team. Repeat after me: 'Dogs are the best animals in the world. The world belongs to dogs!'"0

Tong Bei: "…" She could say it, but why does your tone sound so bitter and resentful?0

[Sorry, I'm a member of the Cat Cult. Golden Retriever Teacher, let's duel!]0

[Golden Retriever… no, Chu Chu, are you okay? How can you say such words against your will?]0

After Tong Bei repeated the phrase, Chu Tingwu sighed resignedly: "This is what the program requires. I don't want to… Ah, cut this part."0

[It wasn't cut.]0

Tong Bei was curious: "So, do you think cats are the best?"0

Chu Tingwu remained silent.0

Tong Bei: "?"0

Chu Tingwu: "You're one of us now. Five minutes are up. Go take off the Three-Five-Five mask."0

Tong Bei: Why won't you answer?0

Tong Bei: And I can't beat Three-Five-Five at all!0

Though she refused, Tong Bei still had to prove her loyalty. Her pillow ended up in Chu Tingwu's hands, and the young girl sent her out, then began climbing out the window.0

Tong Bei: "…You're really going all out to avoid your cat!"0

And the pillow is too big and got stuck! It's stuck!0

After Tong Bei left—0

System: "Cats are obviously the best creatures in the world!"0

It wasn't biased at all!0

Chu Tingwu: "…" Shut up.0

It's so embarrassing! Whether I admit it or not, it's all so embarrassing!0

-0

However, as soon as Tong Bei stepped out, she was surprised to find… Shen Dazui's hat left in the stairwell!0

The stairwell was empty, and Shen Dazui didn't seem to be downstairs. Hearing footsteps approach, Tong Bei quickly picked up the hat and stuffed it into her pocket.0

Cheng Luwei arrived.0

Cheng Luwei: "Isn't Brother Shen here?"0

Tong Bei: "I didn't see him. Probably slacking off somewhere."0

Cheng Luwei sighed in frustration: "That's unlucky. Did you find the key? I found a universal key here. If you have another, we can trade."0

Tong Bei shook her head: "Not so lucky. And I lost my original key too. I just saw a room with a hostage, but when I went in, it turned out to be just a towel… By the way, did you see Three-Five-Five when you came?"0

The two were the leads of a movie and naturally familiar with each other. As they walked side by side, the danmu viewers almost died laughing.0

[Old Cheng, the key you found is clearly a "street wanderer" key, only usable by Brother Shen. How did it suddenly become a universal key when you saw Tong Bei? Planning to con her?]0

[Tong Bei also said she was looking for the cat to help find the key, but she's clearly defected to the Dog Squad. Cat traitor! Both are so good at acting, and both think the other believes their lies…]0

[Actually, I'm a bit curious about the movie plot. I haven't watched it before, but the actors seem to trust the cat actor's abilities so much. Is this cat named "Three-Five-Five" really that strong?]0

[You saw what happened with Brother Shen earlier, didn't you?]0

—Through editing, the audience could see events happening simultaneously at different locations.0

Just as Tong Bei found Shen Dazui's hat, the camera switched to another scene, with a note in the corner:0

"A few minutes earlier."0

A few minutes earlier, Shen Dazui, thinking about informing others of Tong Bei's betrayal, walked toward the stairwell. There, he was ambushed by the Pomeranian waiting in the middle of the stairs.0

As he opened the door and stepped in, the Pomeranian fired a shot at him. Shen Dazui didn't realize what was happening until the second shot left him with only a sliver of health.0

Panicking, he turned to run, but the Pomeranian quickly followed, saying, "Stop, I won't shoot you!"0

Shen Dazui: …0

I don't really believe you!0

He turned back with a bitter face: "Why is it always me…"0

The Pomeranian smiled: "I won't tell you."0

[“Because I have a teammate with incredible hearing (in dog language).”]0

[Because my teammate has super hearing… To be honest, when the two girls reached the third floor, Golden Retriever Teacher suddenly said there was someone downstairs and sent the Pomeranian to wait at the stairs. I was confused at the time, but now I realize, Golden Retriever Teacher must have heard there were two people!]0

[The scariest part is that when Golden Retriever Teacher said that, Brother Shen hadn't even entered the room yet!]0

Chang Yile: "Chu Tingwu must have planned to kill one and let one go from the start!"0

The one let go, regardless of who it was, could be dealt with by a teammate.0

Since the Pomeranian was more familiar with Shen Dazui, and Chu Tingwu was closer to Tong Bei, she chose to leave Shen Dazui to her teammate—0

And her teammate indeed knew his nature: "Stop dragging your feet. Come with me."0

Shen Dazui: "=="0

Pomeranian: "You still have a bit of health left. Don't pretend you can't move. And don't get close to me. I'm afraid you'll lift my mask. Come on, let's go upstairs."0

Shen Dazui: "You're forcing me to walk into a trap!"0

This is clearly sending him to the fifth floor to receive punishment!0

Pomeranian: "So, are you going or not? If not, I'll shoot you now. But I'm too weak, so after shooting you, I'll call Old Lin to carry you to the fifth floor in a princess carry."0

Old Lin was their 1.97-meter-tall French Bulldog brother.0

Shen Dazui: "!"0

Pomeranian: "Once we're upstairs, I can shoot you at the lab entrance, then we'll set a simple challenge. Complete it, and you can run. It'll count as some of my performance points, right?"0

—Completing the challenge would fully restore his health, something others would beg for.0

Shen Dazui hesitated for a moment before agreeing. Neither of them noticed that his hat had fallen to the ground as they ran.0

The camera gave a close-up shot of the hat, then time rewound to when Tong Bei discovered the hat, followed by a close-up of Cheng Luwei's gaze.0

[Oh damn! Tong Huahua, you've been exposed!]0

Cheng Luwei patted Tong Bei's shoulder: "Teacher Tong..."0

"If you didn't meet Brother Dazui just now, and didn't find the hostage, then why do you only have one life point left?"0

Three spots on her clothes had turned red, with only one remaining orange.0

Tong Bei: "..."0

Tong Bei lowered her head: "Oh my, how did you figure it out so quickly?"0

She swiftly pulled out—0

Shen Dazui's hat from her pocket.0

Cheng Luwei, who had quickly hidden behind the doorpost: "???"0

Tong Bei: "Why are you hiding? I was shot by Old Shen."0

Cheng Luwei: "Huh?"0

[Huh?]0

Tong Bei: "I don't know where Old Shen got the sensor gun from, maybe he arranged it with someone from the dog team—"0

The production team marked this with a big "exclamation mark": "This is a lie!"0

Audience: We don't need you to emphasize that!0

Tong Bei: "Then when I just opened the door and went in, he was actually hiding in that room, pulled out his gun and shot me, saying the price for getting the gun was that he had to take out one of us as proof of loyalty... I grabbed his hat while dodging."0

Cheng Luwei: "Hmm... then what happened?"0

Tong Bei: "I've had some training, you know, so he ran away. Some people can't kill even with a gun—but when you came up asking about Shen Dazui's whereabouts, I became cautious and didn't dare tell you directly what happened."0

Cheng Luwei hesitated.0

He peeked at Tong Bei, then remembered that in variety shows, Tong Bei's persona was usually straightforward and casual. Her actual personality wasn't very complicated either, and during filming, she was always frank and direct... Plus she looked innocent now, somewhat annoyed, looking back at him with an exasperated expression, standing with hands on her hips, fanning herself with Shen Dazui's hat.0

Cheng Luwei relaxed: "I believe you—"0

[You'd better not.]0

Cheng Luwei: "After all, we both raised Tiger Head, and anyone who has a good relationship with Tiger Head can't be a bad person."0

He was referring to their characters in the show.0

[Just quietly mentioning that Teacher Chu also raised one, and it was the original. Her relationship with "Tiger Head" was even closer than yours...]0

Cheng Luwei stepped out: "Then Brother Dazui isn't very trustworthy. Three-Five-Five should be upstairs. I think the only ones we can trust now are me, the captain, and Three-Five-Five..."0

The Young Master was somewhat giving up, just lingering on the first floor.0

[What you think is right!]0

A patch of color on Cheng Luwei's chest silently darkened.0

Then, "bang" "bang" "bang."0

Tong Bei fired while backing away—pressing the button in advance for the first shot meant there was no sound, but each subsequent shot had a clear loading sound. She simply aimed at Cheng Luwei and shot every spot she could hit.0

Cheng Luwei had recovered for a while and had full health, but not anymore.0

Cheng Luwei: "???"0

He realized what was happening by the third shot, and his immediate reaction was to try to grab the gun.0

Because they were too close, with no cover between them.0

But Tong Bei had anticipated this and fired her last shot.0

["You have lost the ability to move..."]0

Cheng Luwei's movement froze in place.0

Tong Bei smiled: "Some people can't kill with a gun, but that doesn't include me."0

The gun was obviously given by Chu Tingwu, but at this moment, she still kept her guard up:0

"This is the gun that Old Shen dropped, I'm just testing if it works well."0

Cheng Luwei: "..."0

Shen Dazui, I hate you!0

-0

Shen Dazui: "...Achoo!"0

He was being reluctantly led to the fifth floor by the Pomeranian.0

Along the way, he couldn't help but ask the Pomeranian about Chu Tingwu:0

"Is the one wearing the golden retriever mask a female action star sister I'm not familiar with?"0

The Pomeranian, who knew Chu Tingwu's age: "...Don't ask what you shouldn't."0

Shen Dazui: "Watch your tone, or I won't move anymore, I'll just squat right here! Even if you hit me, I won't move!"0

Pomeranian: "..."0

She changed her tone: "Little one, this isn't something someone your age should know about. You'll understand when you grow up."0

Someone who could call Chu Tingwu 'sister' must be of a child's age, right?0

The adult and the child dragged along until they reached the fourth floor. The Pomeranian was very cautious; whenever she heard others moving, she would immediately pull Shen Dazui and check the live-feed sphere.0

[She's preventing him from calling for help!]0

[Actually, those who just passed by were teammates, but being cautious isn't a bad thing...]0

Moreover, the Pomeranian would look for hiding spots in advance, but when she casually opened a garbage bin, Shen Dazui couldn't help but protest: "They couldn't possibly hide in such a small garbage bin!"0

As a captive, he wanted to get it over with!0

Pomeranian: "True."0

Shen Dazui walked in front while she stayed behind. Logically, no one else should suddenly appear...0

The Pomeranian suddenly felt a weight on her shoulder. She turned her head and let out half a scream.0

The next second, Shen Dazui in front heard a "clack" sound of something falling to the ground. He immediately crouched down, scanned the object, and instinctively kicked it.0

The sensor gun slid away with a "whoosh," flying to the bottom of the stairs.0

Then, a smoke-gray shadow jumped down from the Pomeranian's shoulder.0

The Pomeranian glanced at Shen Dazui, then turned to pick up the sensor gun.0

However, the tortoiseshell cat was faster than her, quickly descending the stairs, grabbing the gun in its mouth, and continuing down a few more steps.0

Shen Dazui rushed over and successfully removed the Pomeranian's mask!0

"Ha!" he said, "I'm 1/5 through the game!"0

Looking at the tortoiseshell wearing an orange cat mask, he was even more moved: "This really is a powerful cat ally..."0

[Wow! Was Three-Five-Five hiding behind the door earlier? The emergency exit has a door!]0

The Pomeranian had actually checked behind the door, but thanks to the color and angle, the tortoiseshell had successfully disguised itself as a shadow.0

While the humans were moving about, no one knew that the cat assassin was watching everything from the darkness!0

Shen Dazui gratefully said: "Kitty, thank you, can you give me the gun?"0

Three-Five-Five: "?"0

Who's Kitty? She didn't know.0

The gun stayed confiscated.0

The cat mother ignored the two humans and continued downstairs with the gun in her mouth.0

Three-Five-Five had been looking for Chu Tingwu all along. Grabbing the gun was just a bonus, and saving someone was even more incidental. She went down to the second floor and walked to the room where Chu Tingwu had been, pressing her head against the glass to look inside.0

It was strange.0

Because the door was locked, and cat paws couldn't push it open. After bumping into it the first time, Three-Five-Five hadn't seen Chu Tingwu again... but her sense of smell told her that the cub was actually nearby, just hidden.0

It seemed she couldn't give this gun to the people on the cub's side?0

But she also couldn't give it to the people on this side—0

Because earlier, the Alaskan Malamute's gun had been taken back by the Malamute.0

These people were all laughing and joking, completely different from the simulation training in the base... This troubled the tortoiseshell because she couldn't judge their true allegiances.0

So she'd give it to no one.0

Three-Five-Five ran to the first floor, ignoring the Young Master who called out to her twice, and started pawing at the door gaps on the first floor.0

The director's team outside: "?"0

The door obviously couldn't be opened, but this was a cat, and the director's team was hesitant—they suspected Three-Five-Five might want to go out to use the bathroom, as her movements looked very similar to digging in cat litter.0

Humans and cats couldn't communicate clearly, and on screen, post-production added text explaining the director team's thoughts at this moment when they opened the door.0

The door only opened enough for a cat to pass through. The Young Master peeked out: he noticed Three-Five-Five squeeze through the door with the gun in her mouth, then she placed the gun at the doorway and squeezed back inside.0

Young Master: "..."0

You'd rather throw away the gun than give it to me, a useless human?0

As Three-Five-Five passed by him, it let out a meow, as if asking: "Why are you just standing here instead of working?"0

Young Master: "I'm going right now!"0

He clasped his hands behind his back and looked at the lobby sofa behind him, where four life-sized body pillows lay.0

This was the Cat team's achievement. He was helping the captain and Cheng Luwei watch the "hostages" (worried that traitors in the team might take them away), while the captain and the other two went upstairs to find the golden-haired masked person wearing the key around their neck—0

He turned his head, wanting to tell Three-Five-Five that he was actually working... but Three-Five-Five was gone. Instead, he saw someone jump down outside the door.0

That person stood outside the glass door, backlit, not particularly tall, but Young Master's heart skipped a beat.0

The clearance key hanging around her neck gleamed, and the sensor gun by her feet also reflected light.0

A light that filled Young Master with despair.0

She picked up the gun.0

At this moment, the audience heard the director's team shouting through the earpiece:0

"Chu... no, Golden-haired Teacher! Golden-haired Teacher! Climbing up and down the outer wall is one thing, but you can't go too far outside the game boundaries! Neither team is allowed to leave this building!"0

Earlier, when Chu Tingwu was climbing the building's exterior wall, the director's team was bewildered... but since she had already climbed out, and they were worried about accidents (they marked it with "Professional performer, do not attempt" in post-production). At least then, Chu Tingwu's body was still in direct contact with the building, so they could pretend she was still inside... but now she was completely outside, which wasn't acceptable.0

Director's team: "You must come inside within ten seconds!"0

Otherwise, she would be disqualified.0

Young Master, who also heard the director's team's voice, felt a bit gleeful—0

Besides, he felt relatively safe since there was at least a glass door between him and Chu Tingwu. When she climbed back up, it wouldn't have anything to do with him, right?0

Chu Tingwu: "I don't need ten seconds."0

She took one second to pick up the gun, then two seconds to take the key from around her neck and swipe open the door.0

Young Master: "..."0

Director's team: Damn... forgot the key was in her possession!0

Chu Tingwu stepped forward into the lobby, her voice coming from behind the golden-haired mask: "The remaining seven seconds are your time to escape."0

Young Master: "......"0

Ahhhhh!0

Dark Lord! Dark Lord! Dark Lord!0

The ruthless Dark Lord didn't pursue him to the bitter end.0

After watching Young Master sprint frantically toward the stairs, she went forward to gather the four hostage pillows, then casually walked to the side to wait for the elevator.0

While waiting for the elevator, she glanced at the drone camera and added an explanation for the commentators:0

"Actually, killing people is useless since they can respawn dynamically, so the Dog team's strategy for clearing the game is to make the enemy despair—when they realize they have no way to complete the game, that's when they'll surrender in desperation."0

[It's just a game, no need to be that desperate... Can't imagine how the other side would surrender...]0

[Though I can't imagine it either, since you're the one saying it, I'll keep an open mind.]0

Chu Tingwu's plan was to defeat them one by one: The two police officers needed to rescue the hostages, not only finding all twelve body pillows but also getting them out of the building, so they could actually work with Young Master, whose task was to obtain the exit key and escape the building.0

That's exactly what they did. Compared to the unreliable Shen Dazui and the wavering Tong Bei, Young Master, though not very useful, wouldn't immediately switch sides.0

And the body pillows, which were the hostages, were actually safe.0

The captain was now telling the camera:0

"Look what I found! This rule clue says: the Dog team actually can't open room doors either, they can't use the keys, only we can use the keys to open... doors?"0

He stood on the second floor, looking outside in confusion.0

The second floor's middle section opened to the first floor, creating a huge atrium. Standing in the middle of the first-floor lobby, one could look up and see the second floor's ceiling, where a massive crystal chandelier hung like a blooming peony.0

They would also stand on the second floor to observe the situation, but at this moment, he not only saw Young Master running up but also... the person wearing the golden-haired mask standing on the opposite corridor railing, leaping diagonally forward to grab onto a tall pillar.0

Behind her, four "hostages" were tied with rope.0

The drone camera quietly recorded this scene, even moving closer to film her hands when Chu Tingwu changed positions.0

There were some decorative carvings at the top of the pillar. She wedged her fingers into the decorations, her toes pointing against the smooth side of the pillar, and even explained to the camera:0

"If you have severe hand sweating, this kind of climbing isn't recommended. It's better to bring proper equipment. My current shoes aren't climbing shoes either, so it's a bit difficult to climb using friction."0

[A bit?]0

[Is she trying to teach us or mock us?]0

The next second, Chu Tingwu leaped again, and with her excellent dynamic movement, successfully grabbed the edge of the chandelier.0

The chandelier swayed left and right, and the captain blinked:0

Chu Tingwu had climbed up.0

She arranged the four long body pillows at the four corners of the chandelier, then tied them together with rope. While she worked, the captain just stared blankly.0

Finally, Chu Tingwu completed her work and turned to look at the captain.0

[... Where's that friend who couldn't imagine it earlier? Can you imagine it now?]0

Captain: "..."0

Although she was wearing a mask, but, but he felt...0

Chu Tingwu raised her hand and gave him a peace sign.0

Captain: You must be smiling under that mask!0

You devil!0