The Rejected Alpha's Vengeance

[HAWI] Find adventures on empire

"…I can't be the weakling that begs for scraps of attention through her pain," Hawi whispered as she played with her fingers. She had been thinking of the past four years and nothing about those years made her want to go back home.

Sure, she would eventually have to. But Hawi was scared. She had so many things that everyone knew and she had no way of outrunning them. She had a hastiness that made people worry for her even when they were scared of what she would do next.

She was explosive and they knew it and yet none of them ever dared to say anything to her because they were scared or worried they would hurt her feelings.

"They only want you to get better, Hawi," Luna Eniola said and Hawi signed for the hundredth time today. She was a good pretender and always found a way to make amends but how long was she supposed to do this?

There was only so much she could succeed, but with her mother reminding her just how terrible her state was, Hawi wasn't sure she would hold out until the end of this damned mission.

She had promised to make things right, to make sure that Mbali was back with Malika. But now she wasn't even sure anymore.

Growing up, Hawi had learned of the medical conditions that got the humans hallucinating. She had never thought that it would someday be part of her. She hated being wrong and yet this time she had been wrong about everything.

When the pressures had piled up, and she tried seeing her mother that day in the Clarkson pack, the same day that Rukiya had come for her and dragged her to Greyson, Hawi should have come clean.

She knew that, but then the illusion of happiness had gotten her thinking of everyone. She hoped that maybe if everyone was happy, she would forget the ghosts that haunted her.

"Yeah right. As if they don't have their own problems. They always face their shit head-on, and then there's me, Mother," Hawi said defeatedly as she looked at the stairs that she had climbed.

They looked insane from where she was sitting but then pain had driven her to that point, or maybe it was insane that should have gotten her safer.

"You should have at least let Amina help you. She knew what you were going through, she offered and you turned her down," Luna Eniola said.

Hawi looked at her, ready to ask about how her mother had known things that she hadn't even voiced to her friends yet. But the harsh reminder of this just being a figment of her brain brought her back to the reality that he couldn't avoid everything all the time.

She had to make sure that things worked for her, but it was taking a little too long even for her. It was like the world had decided to let her go and there wasn't much she could do to help her case.

What if she was the black sheep again? Oh, Hawi.

"You know I can't. She is supposed to be the enemy and she already knows that I see things and people. Who's to say that hasn't told Mbali yet?" Hawi asked, and her mother scoffed.

"She had so many chances but didn't. There is no way she could tell Mbali because then it would break Mbali's heart. And knowing the woman, she wouldn't do shit to make Mbali cry or feel low," Luna Eniola explained, making Hawi sign for the hundredth time.

"Why can't you just leave me alone then? I can figure this shit out and make sure all is right. Besides what's the worst that could happen to me anyway?" Hawi asked like she wasn't scared of that reality.

She had played it over more than once and frankly, there was nothing that broke her heart like that. She had endured the worst of citations only for the universe to smack her face first into a mess that she was not able to get out of.

"If I leave you know someone else will show up. Who knows, maybe Atticus will come and keep you company? Perhaps Raz—" Luna Eniola said smugly.

"Don't finish that sentence," Hawi said and her mother just shrugged.

"You know what I mean," Luna Eniola defended.

"Doesn't make it any better. Anyway, now that you are here why don't you tell me what it is about her and the Russels that I need to work around?" Hawi asked in the hope that espresso was something she hadn't already thought of yet.

All the secrets always found a way to fuck her up and it wasn't in the prettiest of ways. Maybe she was truly insane or maybe there was just no reason for her to keep going anymore right?

"I wish I could. But we both know I won't ever be able to, because of the current citation. I can only tell you what you already know and none of that seems appealing to you. How about you ask Rukiya? She is a nice girl and can help you out.

"Besides, if there is a way out your mate is the perfect one with the answers. She is an alpha too, isn't she?" Luna Eniola asked as she looked at the two figures that were struggling to make it to the thousandth step.

It would take them a while, but that didn't make Hawi feel any better about the current situation. Seeking Ruru's help would only mean that they worried even more for her. That was too costly a gamble, one that Hawi was never going to put her people through.

She had watched them go through the worst and tried to hold on for her, but now, she just didn't have the strength to make this shit happen.

"I'll pass," Hawi said defeatedly.

"Eventually you will have to talk to someone, Hawi," Luna Eniola said.

Hawi breathed in dramatically like she was trying to tell her mother to leave her alone. Well, things weren't exactly getting any better for her anyway. Maybe at the end of the day, Hawi would figure out a way around this.

"Maybe it is a good thing you're just a part of my brain. Now please shut up, I need to catch up on some sleep," Hawi white and her mother just smiled sadly and let the girl be. It was almost like she was real and watching over her.

Hawi knew this wasn't possible but then she also knew that no matter what she did and how she went about this particular bit of her truth, there was never going to be an easier way around it.

She either had to come clean or hold on for the longest time, and right now, holding on was more painful than anything she had ever experienced.n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

That was because it reminded her of the mother she would never see again, a mother she wished she could hold on to, even for another while, and yet the same mother who was forever gone.

Hawi's condition had worsened in the past three years but maybe there was still hope for her.

After all, what were the chances that the psycho-alpha wolf was really dying, right?